noone-wouldriotforless:

rihannasblunt:

i expected the comments to be terrible BUT THEY WEREN’T YAAASSSSS NEW ZEALAND

Sometimes I am pleasantly surprised by the people in our country

professional-bird:

CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT POPE FRANCIS IS SO FRIKKIN CHILL THAT IF AN ALIEN WALKED IN TO THE VATICAN HE WOULDN’T EVEN FREAK OUT HE’D JUST BE LIKE “SUP DUDE LETS GO GET YA SOME JESUS” 

Pope Francis makes me want to be Catholic.

jerkidiot:

kraft-mac-and-cheese:

90% percent of the time i’m “going to the bathroom” is just me in there trying to get away from people’s shit

then why would you go to the bathroom

m4ge:

Dresses are so nice they’re just tubes of fabric you can throw on with very little effort and when you wear one and people are like “oh wow you dressed up you look really nice” but it’s like

ah yes my disguise is working. you think i cared this morning 

so-treu:

like when beyonce said “i woke up this way: flawless” she’s saying that flawless is not dependent on how she looks at a given moment; by dent of being alive, just by being authentic to herself, she’s flawless. 

not “i woke up with this hair laid and makeup did and decked out clothes”. which is how everyone else apparently interpreted it.

ussmckirk:

Steve Rogers is my fitness role model.

In other words, I too want to be injected with a magical serum that’ll give me the perfect body in mere seconds without my having to do any exercise whatsoever.

problackgirl:

we’ve taught girls to romanticise nearly everything a boy does. when i was younger i thought it was cute that boys chased the girl even after she said no. i loved it when after a girl moved away from a kiss, the guy would pull her back and force it on. i thought a guy saying ‘i won’t take a no for an answer’ was passionate and romantic. we’re literally always teaching girls to romanticise abusive traits.

renfamous:

British Kitchen Nightmares: “The risotto is overcooked and your restaurant needs new lighting.”

American Kitchen Nightmares: “YOUR STAFF DOES DRUGS ON THE CLOCK, YOUR FAMILY THINKS YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE AND THERE’S A LIVE RAT IN MY FOOD.”

weedjoke420:

can’t wait till all my friends get married and have nice weddings with open bars

foxhex:

liza-land:

how I wear art is none of your business

"The difference between people with tattoos and people without tattoos is that people with tattoos don’t give a shit if you don’t have any."

Straight White Boy Problem #462

lemonlade:

straightwhiteboyproblems:

my phone ran out of battery so i cant play 2048 and none of my friends are in this class. school is so boring……..i guess its time for me to show my skills *starts banging on table rhythmically with a pencil until teacher asks me to stop*

THIS IS THE BEST ONE

magnacarterholygrail:

hotsenator:

Dear Mr. Flocka Flame, in the attached file you will find my resumé,

waka outchea creatin sustainable jobs and stimulatin the economy

purple-is-the-new-red:

mcsprankles:

bettycrockersbitch:

debbiemoonpieslaststand:

bile2:

dmthx4:

stop this man

im calling the fucking cops

i have obama on the phone

what

At first, I thought he was just gonna scoop some ice cream onto bread. But then

Seriously how did he figure this out

unphh:

kuntsnuggles:

I have this problem where ‘the other day’ for me ranges from yesterday to around 5 years ago

and ‘a friend of mine’ is literally anybody i’ve ever heard of who’s opinion i like

heyitspj:

morthils:

s0mbodybetter:

betakomaeda:

i want everyone who has ever used the internet to witness this photograph of an exploding pikachu figurine

the demon is fucking escaping holy fucking christ help us

free him

CONCEAL HIM