gnumblr:

Reblog this with the mobile app and add your 5 most most recently used emojis

🔫🍭😎🌽🌸

twloserblog:

you dont know embarrassment until you have to wear science goggles over your glasses

wildphilosoraptor:

fuckyeah-nerdery:

catbountry:

ex-wife:

did-you-kno:

Source 

"When I got my first cat, it changed me. There is something about holding a cat that makes your anger melt away. And if someone does something that upsets me—I have to remember my cat. I can’t keep my cat if I get into trouble.”

"I asked if Major Cabanaw had concerns for the safety of the cats. “Of course, we always want to ensure the safety of the cats, and the staff is great about keeping an eye out for them. But mostly, it’s the offenders keeping them safe. I have never once seen an offender kill his own cat. We screen them to be sure they have no history of animal abuse. But I’ll tell you this, there was a guy killed in here because he had spit soda pop onto someone else’s cat.”"

Wow.

Cats now control the prisons. They now have an army.

This post went exactly where I expected. Well done.

drakeshairline:

tequilaandtiramisu:

A moment of silent for all those in retail this holiday season.

this cartoon works at target clearly

Reblog and see if you get a color.
PURPLE: We near never speak, but I do enjoy your presence on my dashboard.
FUCHSIA: I wish I could become your best friend through the internet.
GREY: You leave me with jumbled words.
RED: I'm in love with you.
PINK: I have a crush on you.
TURQUOISE: You're hot.
CHARTREUSE: I sincerely wish you would notice me.
TEAL: We have quite a lot in common.
BLUE: You are my Tumblr crush.
ORANGE: I dislike your page.
YELLOW: PLEASE KISS ME!!
WHITE: PLEASE MARRY ME.
GREEN: I find you cute.
BLACK: I would date you.
BROWN: I dislike you

hoekage:

the main thing i look forward to in life is raising dogs w/ someone i love

Oh no, it’s a vampire! #momothecat #ireallyhopeidontgetahickeyfromthis #singlelife

iwillfindyouandiwillshipyou:

Omg today when I woke up I was so confused that I couldn’t remember my first language and I panicked and literally screamed ‘But I dont even know how to speak french’ in english.

I’m german.

grab-my-assbutt:

smilestump:

thefutureoffalloutboystartsnow:

some fall out boy lyrics are really relatable and easy to understand and other fall out boy lyrics are like “tempest in a teacup get unique peroxide princess shine like shark teeth”

IF YOU KEPT THEM IN CONTEXT THEY MAKE A SHIT TON OF SENSE OK PETE IS A GENIUS AND I JUST REALLY LOVE FALL OUT BOY

parkingstrange:

xoheart-on-her-sleeve:

sassy-satan666:

unmutekurloz:

raspberryskittles:

dion-thesocialist:

isn’t there a part of the bible where god gets mad at a fig tree for not having any figs on it and curses the fig tree?

yeah there legit is that’s 100% true

Yes.

Oh my god

last time we reblogged this we got anon hate from the christian community. You guys really are passionate about your figs.

http://thy-name-is-spaxa.tumblr.com/post/96444515423/one-time-when-i-was-like-6-my-cousin-who-was-8-or

thy-name-is-spaxa:

One time when I was like 6 my cousin (who was 8 or 9) told me we were going to go “bungee jumping” and told me how fun it was going to be so she tied a rope around my waist and the other end to a pole and threw me off the deck which was like 15 feet in the air and when the rope caught I swung back…

p0kemina:

I’m going to make a youtube video entitled

"Shit ALL men say”

and it will consist only of the phrase “But not all men say that~!!”

And then I’ll wait for men to stare at their keyboards in utter distress as they contemplate the paradox of their intense desire and desperation to inform me that not all men say that.

I will break them.

First day back with my new binder

graceespooks:

graceespooks:

my grandpa is always making fun of old people he sees like he’s not 85

he goes “wow today was old folks day at olive garden” i was like yeah grandpa that’s why we brought you there at 4:30pm